NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
