don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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