she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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