new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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