You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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