Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
