Porn is love you can see.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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