I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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