i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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