Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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