there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just google imaged poop.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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