Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
