my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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