her vagine was all disorganized.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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