atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
