To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
