Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
