One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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