You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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