Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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