I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she looked like the before picture.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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