shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
