Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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