I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize