apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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