so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
