HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
