Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
