Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
