Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
