Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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