Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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