I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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