We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
