Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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