the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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