whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
