my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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