I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize