Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize