3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
