I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
