I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
