i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
