god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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