i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
