he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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