Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
