but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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