Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
