The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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