You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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