On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
