he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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