He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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