Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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