I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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