i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
