I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
