Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
she pinky promised me she was 18
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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