whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
