at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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