well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
time to smoke my breakfast
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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