this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
