we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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