She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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