You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
